Sourpuss
Merricat Mulwray
Publication date: January 20th 2019
Genres: Comedy, Contemporary, New Adult
Sourpuss is a blistering satire of the depraved and entitled culture that pervades college campuses.Mallory Wahl loathes the campus party scene . . .She’s sprinting through her senior year obsessed with winning a spot on the US Olympic track team. But she runs straight into a hurdle in the form of fraternity president Graham Patterson, an intern assigned to help her recover from an injury – one she blames on him.Once Graham’s therapies begin to work, Mallory pretends to fall in love but traps herself in her own scheme and tailspins deep into his debauched world. When a scandal erupts which threatens to shatter her Olympic dreams once and for all, Mallory must finally face the dark truth she’s been running from since freshman year.In the style of a ’90s dark comedy flick, Merricat Mulwray’s debut brings an insightful and humorous perspective to the reckless behavior college students perpetually get away with. Mallory, herself a flawed heroine, is backed by a self-serving cast of athletes, party girls, townies, and fraternity brothers so hilariously dark that the book will leave you wondering if anyone ever gets what they deserve.
EXCERPT
Mallory Gets A New PhysioMallory sat all the way back into the deep seat of the faded brown couch in Coach Green’s office. Her right leg, immobilized by a tight, bright-blue knee brace, stuck straight out off the couch like a punch. This was the couch where students usually sat when Coach Green was going to yell at them. But today Mallory swung her left foot in happy expectation. She had stayed off of her bad knee. She hadn’t rushed to get back on the track. She did everything the team doctor told her, and now it was time for her to begin to rehab.
“Looks like the doc gave you the all clear,” Coach Green said as he came through his office door.
“Yup. She said that I can start physio,” she replied sitting up higher in her seat.
“That’s why I called you down here. The board wants to shake things up.”
Mallory’s face fell as her heart paused.
“You avoided a major injury, so there’s a little flexibility with the approach to your recovery.”
“Different approach? Like some cutting-edge technology?” Mallory asked.
“The higher ups have their agendas. You know we’ve got some student interns in our physiotherapy program that are mighty fine. Hell, you’ll probably recover in a few weeks without physio. Never knew an athlete like you, Wahl, the heart of a lion.”
“I’m not doing physio with an intern.”
“Can’t say I would be doing the cancan over it either. I know we’re going for gold. Trust your old pal, Coach Green—he’ll make sure you get the treatment you deserve.” He laid his hand on her shoulder. “You never disappoint me. You’re a true champion. You’re getting a real honor
here. As one of the higher caliber athletes on campus, you’re giving the opportunity to help these student interns grow in their chosen professions as well.”
“I guess I can give it a try.” Mallory’s lips stuck to her teeth.
“Atta girl!” he said, giving her a few firm pats on the head.
“So when do I meet this qualified individual?”
“Good girl. You’ve probably already seen this fella. He’s been making the rounds with each team.” He opened the door. “Come in here, my boy.”
Mallory hadn’t seen anyone new hanging around the athletic center, and Darius, who always managed to tell her everyone’s business, hadn’t mentioned anything. All she could do was close her eyes.
He was stuffing a half-eaten Rx Bar into his pocket as he came through the door. He even had the nerve to pop the collar of his university-issued polo. He shook Coach Green’s hand heartily and smiled.
“Thank you so much for this opportunity, sir. I can’t wait to get started.”
“What kind of crap is this?” Mallory said as she flung her body up and threw her crutches to the ground.
Coach Green turned to her. “What the shit is your problem, Wahl?”
“I’m not doing anything with that guy. This must be some kind of joke,” she snorted.
“Oh, do you know each other?” Coach Green asked.
“He has no place anywhere near any athlete,” Mallory said, her voice rising.
“Simmer down—”
“He’s the reason I clipped that hurdle. Him. He was out on the track acting like a jackass. He distracted me.”
“I can’t imagine I did anything to distract you,” Graham said, with a mocking grin.
“You’re not placing the blame on somebody else for your own mishap, are you, Wahl?”
“Well, it wasn’t quite like that,” Mallory backed up.
“Is this some kind of diva antic? We think that this is a major learning opportunity here,” continued Coach Green.
“Do you even know what kind of guy this guy is?” asked Mallory.
“He’s at the top of his department. That’s who this is. We don’t just give this internship to any yo boy,” replied Coach Green.
“Wrong. He’s the president of the biggest, douchiest frat on campus. He walks around with a freaking manservant,” said Mallory stomping her good foot. She stared Graham down.
Author Bio:
Merricat Mulwray is the collaboration of two sisters. They live in Los Angeles where they hatch plans and develop schemes, sometimes these turn into novels.
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